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March 2026Reflecting upon our President’s recent State of the Union message, what do you think about the current “state” of our national conversations? What if I told you that if you were to ask either a conservative or a liberal, Republican or Democrat what they agree on, you might be surprised by how much common ground that actually exists between them?
For example, I recently submitted a short survey to a local social group asking the question, “Do you believe that America is an amoral and unjust nation?” Interestingly, the consensus reflects that we live in a society where half of our citizens believe we are heading for the end times and the other half believe our nation is tumbling toward a dictatorship and the loss of our democracy. It seems there is a shared sense of concern regarding our Nation’s direction. I believe these shared concerns highlight a significant point of agreement across the political spectrum and is a force that we need to harness.
Yes, there actually is unity in America after all, amen? For example, both sides believe the end is at hand AND that those who disagree with them are causing all the problems. One side can’t believe that Donald Trump hasn’t been sent to prison yet and the other is trying to incarcerate folks like Bill and Hillary Clinton. Both sides believe that their perceived “bad guys” will never get their just rewards. And how about those Epstein files?
It seems we can also agree that America has become deeply polarized. As each day goes by, these polar opposites become even more planted in their beliefs, often accepting information that supports their views regardless of proof. Sadly, the emotional charges on both ends are becoming increasingly dangerous, leading to instances of violence, name-calling, and hostility. Many on both sides believe we are headed toward an inevitable civil war, yet both sides continue to focus on complaining about the other.
There is, however, another point of agreement: civil war is not a good idea and should be avoided! Yet, the consensus remains that it is always the “other side” that needs to change their perspective, depending on which side of the fence one sits on.
So, how do we avoid what appears to be a potential second Civil War? How do we come to reason and start treating our fellow Americans with the respect they all deserve? Well, there are basically two paths to return to our “United” States of America. One is the hard way, which man seems to be most attracted to; the other is through reason and respect. Yes, I said respect.
Take, for example, the victims of Hurricane Helene in Western North Carolina. We are talking about thousands of folks that lost everything and I do mean everything. They have lost their home, transportation, jobs, access to food, shelter, water and sadly family members and good neighbors. You will not find the locals in Carolina arguing over liberal/conservative or wrong and right. Nope, they have, by necessity, learned to work together and respect one another. They depend on their neighbors, local churches as well as other good Americans who have sent and are still providing first hand assistance to them at great sacrifice.
As we reflect on the current state of discourse in our country, it seems that we more often than not need “pain” as our teacher — Western North Carolina serving as exhibit A. However, there is a better and less harsh option: Reasoning and Relationship building.
While it is often difficult to determine how to reason with those who seem unreasonable, our constant “chirping” at those with whom we disagree, or the use of physical aggression, name-calling, or resorting to lawfare are not forms of good reasoning. Unfortunately, this is where much of the conversation in America stands today, and that must stop.
How so? The first thing we all need to do is to truly start listening — without forming a rebuttal before the other person is finished speaking. A novel approach might be to start conversations by identifying something you genuinely like or respect about your opponent. After all, no one is totally worthless.
I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on this perspective and how we might improve these interactions. Please note that the key here is to start a dialogue that is intended to bring the temperature down and that doesn’t mean to pick at our adversaries. We are all in the American boat together and both sides need to recognize the need for the other to continue our 250 plus years plus of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Amen?
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