God’s Word begins with the story of creation... a perfect, orderly and God-ordained progression of Intelligent Design. He began by creating the perfect habitat for all His creatures. He filled the world with all forms of life, making each creature with a male and female counterpart -- with both the desire and ability to reproduce. With the completion of each new thing He designed, God declared it good. Then, when all was ready, He created man. For the first time, as we read in Genesis, God declared that something was “not good.” It was not good for the man to be alone in this world. So He created the woman, the perfect mate for the man He had made. God blessed them and declared this union of one man and one woman to be good, the first marriage on Earth. Like the other creatures He made, human beings were given both the desire and the ability to procreate... and as Adam and Eve consummated their bond of holy matrimony, the natural result was the beginning of the first family.
In these first few chapters of Genesis, we read how God created all things perfectly, and I am certain, in perfect love. He loved, appreciated and highly valued everything He had made -- especially mankind, made in His likeness. Even when man sinned against Him, God still provided for all their needs. He still sustained their lives, still highly valued this new family. We can learn so much from this. Primarily, in God’s perfect plan, the ideal family begins with a godly man, bonded to a faithful woman, for a lifetime, the two becoming one flesh. And within this holy union of two souls, lies the perfect habitat, the perfect home, in which children are welcomed, loved and celebrated, where they can be nurtured, grow and thrive. And the family, together, gives thanks and praise to God, their loving, Heavenly Father, the Designer and Creator of all.
Eventually, also in God’s design, the children grow to adulthood and leave their father and mother and unite with their own unique mate, created specifically by God just for them, the start of another new family. And so the process goes, and has gone, for thousands of years on this Earth.
The Godly family.... how the Lord must love and cherish this part of creation. Designed in perfection, the ideal way of life. The very cornerstone of the building blocks of a God-designed society.
It is unfortunate that in our world today, the only place we are likely to see this perfect family scenario played out consistently is in the animal kingdom. Instinctively, birds and animals choosing their mates carefully, then bonding for life, raising children, praising and glorifying God; then the children grow, find their own mates, create their own families.... and the cycle continues. The animal world seems to have no problem with God’s design. It works flawlessly, and it has done so since Creation.
Human beings, on the other hand, seem to think we know better. Here are some statistics: According the US Census, our country gained 11 million new “households” between 2000 and 2010. But “households” are not necessarily families. In fact, husband/wife households with children actually fell by 5 percent -- the only group to decline.
So who are these new “households?” Unmarried females as heads of households were up 13.1%.... nearly double the number of unmarried male householders. Let’s consider this. Twice as many young women set up their own households as did young men. Could this be because we see so many young men today who never really grow up and take responsibility for their lives, never leaving home... content to live in their mothers’ basements playing video games? I’m just asking, because it IS a known trend.
Heterosexual couples living together, unmarried, increased by 40.2% between 2000 and 2010. Meanwhile the number of homosexual couples living together grew by more than 80%.
Another study, by the Council on Contemporary Families, shows that as of 2011, only 23% of married couple families with young children have a stay-at-home Mother to raise those children. Moreover, (and GET this!), married couples with children account for less than a quarter of all households in America today. So much for honoring God’s perfect plan.
So if this report is correct, it means that more than 75% of us have deviated from God’s plan for families. How does this look in real life? Well, in America today, there is one divorce every 13 seconds; that’s 46,523 divorces a week. It is hard to estimate, because the numbers keep rising, but approximately 43% of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. This is an overall average, but a shocking reality is that in the black community, the number is 75% -- 75% of African-American children in our country today are growing up with no fathers.
What does this mean? Here are some more numbers for you: 85% of youth in prison come from homes where they had no father. 85% of children with behavioral disorders have no connection to their father. Likewise, 75% of adolescents in substance-abuse treatment centers are from fatherless homes. 71% of all high school dropouts have no fathers. And 70% of adults serving long-term prison sentences, have no fathers. Obviously, Dads contribute SOMETHING, whether we want to acknowledge it or not.
In 1974, Harry Chapin wrote the folk song “Cats in the Cradle,” which lamented the awkward relationships many Dads had with their kids. At a time when men were the primary bread-winners in the family, and loaded down with many other responsibilities in life, Daddy/child relationships often suffered. The words of that song continue to haunt many well meaning, but guilt-ridden fathers who wish they had spent more time with their kids while they were growing up; the words also haunt the kids of that generation who grew up and built families of their own, who always longed for a better connection with their dads, and who vowed to do a better job with their own children... only to find in the end, “He’d grown up just like me.... my boy was just like me.”
I admit that song haunts me as much as anyone. While I vowed to do better with my own kids, as a Dad I often fell way short of the mark, being overwhelmed with work and the responsibilities to provide for a growing family and pressures that never seemed the let up... and now, as my home is nearly an empty nest, I too, have an adult son, who’s grown up, just like me. And my heart aches because of this. Yes, I do regret that we did not have more time together, and that my relationship with my son was often strained; very like the relationship I had with my own father. But I know my Dad did his best. He was there, he provided for us, and we knew we were loved. My parents stayed together and our family remained intact.
As for my kids, I am very proud of each of them, now nearly all grown up. Our family, too, by the grace of God, stayed together, intact. Our children always knew they were loved, ours was a home where God was always present, and our kids all grew up knowing the Lord. And while I regret that we could have been closer, our relationships could have been better, and that their childhood flew by in the blink of an eye, I can still look back on literally thousands of happy memories my wife and I have had raising our children. We have so many wonderful memories that will last me - and I hope, my kids - a lifetime.
Sadly, it is not that way for so many today. Where once divorce was frowned upon, a shameful and painful thing, now it is easy and commonplace. One out of every two children today will live in a single-parent home at some point in their childhood. One out of three is born to parents who will never marry. And as discussed earlier, in the African American community, 75% of those children will never know an intact family home.
We have problems. Not just the problems themselves, but in addition to those problems, we have the problem of the seared conscience. Fractured and broken families are now so commonplace, that kids with two parents living at home are now the oddballs in school. Hollywood and the media celebrates single parenthood. There is even a television show called “Baby Daddy.” In case you didn’t know, a “Baby Daddy” is the slang term for a male (I won’t call him a man) who impregnates a woman with no intention of marrying her, raising the child or supporting either of them in any way. Not only has this “Baby Daddy” stuff become commonplace, its even now, some people’s idea of comedy entertainment. While flipping through cable TV channels in a hotel room on a recent business trip, I came across perhaps the most offensive program that has ever existed. It was called “Pregnant and Dating.” This thing featured belligerent, foul mouthed, pregnant women going out to night clubs and bars with men who were not the fathers of their babies. THIS is our entertainment in America today. I can’t imagine who watches this stuff, but obviously people do and it seems quite popular.
The liberal left tries to say it doesn’t matter what form a “family” takes. Any group of people living together today can be a family. We even have the TV network called “ABC Family,” which touts itself as celebrating “A new kind of family.” Gone are the days of Mom and Dad raising the kids. Now, it can be a single Mom, or two women... or two males, or two COUPLES... or one man and six women. Literally anything goes, and no one is allowed to “judge” what is right and what is wrong. All choices - however irresponsible - are touted as equally valid. Love is love. Equality for all. Except for the minority 25% of us who still live in “traditional family” homes. We are considered the most ignorant, the most judgemental, the most narrow-minded, the stupidest of all. We must not be tolerated.
I realize there are exceptions. I realize there are single Moms raising their children alone and it is not their choice. Many would much prefer an intact traditional family. I applaud these ladies because they are trying to do the work of two parents all by themselves; and in our country today, they could have easily murdered their children and no one would have judged them for doing so.
But we seem to be on the fast track to derail everything God designed and holds dear... our society is hell-bent for self destruction with the liberal, socialist left crying for sweeping redefinition of the family in the name of equality... even overturning constitutional amendments made by the will of the people to force aberrant lifestyles down our throats, whether we like it or not. I have not even had a chance to discuss the extended family: aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents... who were once held in such high esteem for their years of wisdom, their wealth of knowledge and understanding, for their lifetime of memories and hearts full of love for the precious little grandkids.
Friends, God designed the family as the perfect unit; the ideal environment for children -- and for parents -- to love, nurture and care for one another. Its the most basic building block of all of society, and it is under attack today. Premarital sex, children born out of wedlock, easy divorce, broken homes, irresponsible men, homosexual couples and polyamorous people trying to reinvent what God designed and called good.
Even in homes where the children DO have Mom and Dad there, and have every advantage possible, the stresses and strains of modern life, all the technology so available at our fingertips, all the media and entertainment and distractions that pull each member of the family unit a different direction... it is no wonder we have fractured families. And when our families are fractured, our whole society breaks down into mayhem.
We need to stop the nonsense. On March 1st, Wisconsin Christian News will be holding its annual Ministry Expo, and this year’s theme will be “Restoring the Family.” We have assembled some of the best, most notable Christian speakers in Wisconsin to present what will perhaps be the most important day of learning you’ll invest in all year. With Dennis Siler on Parenting; Julaine Appling on God’s Plan for Family, Mike Prom speaking on the Role of Children and Teens in the Family, Terry Fischer on Revival in the Home -- and much more. We will have seminars, Christian music by family music ministries, displays and exhibits from Christian ministries throughout Wisconsin, Kids’ activities, a Creation Exhibit, a petting zoo, Bible Quizzing for all ages, a prayer booth, good food and more. I’m asking you to join us. You need to be there. It is March 1st, at the Cedar Creek Mall, Exit 185 just south of Wausau. Bring your family, invest some time to restore and strengthen your family, and make some precious memories together that will last a lifetime, and have eternal significance! Call me at 715-486-8066 if you have any questions. See you there.
