Spiritual Leadership

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   It is a missing element in the majority of marriages…including those in a Christian context. It is a vital key to success…or, in its absence -- a warning sign of trouble ahead.  It is a topic that is rarely addressed by the couple before pre-marriage counseling…or after the wedding.

   What I am talking about is the lack of spiritual leadership by men in marriage. In the nine marriages I officiated over this last year, it was evident in most -- as portrayed by the following --

• Lack of understanding of the Bible…little, to no current use of it.

• Limited church attendance…or interest in church.

• An awkwardness in talking about spiritual issues.

• No clear understanding of what is meant to be a spiritual leader.

• Comfortable with these realities.

   Connected to this dynamic is a sad commentary. Here are men who will share before God, and assembled witnesses, that they are willing to center their marriage on Christ, and His goals for their marriage…yet appear to have very little concern over what they are committing themselves to through their vows.

   The outcome is also disconcerting.  These are men who are unlikely to move forward spiritually after the wedding (though many wives live in the illusion that this will take place.)  As stated earlier, these are men who are “comfortable” with their under-developed spiritual lives…and, therefore, have no personal motivation to make changes.

   It isn’t that these men lack passion.  It is the reality that their passions are secular in nature (i.e. sports, work, self, etc.)…in sharp contrast to their apathy regarding the Bible and Christ.  These are men who are clueless when it comes to Paul’s message from Roman’s 12, verse 2 -- “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will.”  

   This “weak link” in marriage could be the very foreshadowing  of the “broken” marriage of the future. God has certainly witnessed this pattern countless times.  I pray that engaged couples, especially men, will take these words to heart…for the sake of spiritual success in their marriages!

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